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On Ian’s 2 month birthday I tried to take some pictures…TrIeD, he was not having it! I guess when we look back I can show him this……

I just love his little chubby legs!!! He really is a happy baby all the time, he just hates when I play dress up and take pictures! But I am his mom, and will do this for the rest of his life!

At two months old, Ian…

• Is Still unsure about bathtime! He loves to play soccer with his rubber duck,  And HATES  the part where we take him out of the bath and he’s cold
• Hates to have his diaper changed -
• Has become such a happy boy – he smiles constantly!
• Shows us that he recognizes certain people by kicking his legs and smiling at them
• Hates having on a wet diaper… but really, who would like that?
• Isn’t too fond of tummy time – but he’ll have to get over that!
• Rolled over! I think it was a fluke, but he rolled from his tummy to his back to the left side while at daycare
• Loves to eat – he gets soo mad when we even take the breast or  bottle away just to burp him!
• Sleeps for 6 hours straight at night – you go Ian!
• Trys to talk back to you by cooing and making funny noises!
• Can hold his head up pretty well when we put him on his tummy

Length: 23 inches- 75th Percentile

Head Circumference: 15 1/2 inches- 50th Percentile

He started off like this:

and then went to this:

and ended like this:

I could just eat him up!!!

I think I can say at this point this blog has evolved into a full-blown mommy blog. There are random tidbits of non-mommy related issues and events of the world thrown in as well.
Basically, I am a new mom trying to document that ever changing job for myself, my child, my friends and family. These are strictly my opinions and rants. Please don’t take them for more than that!!!

My New Life has started with the birth of Ian!! I am not going to back track and fill in all the boring details of my birth story ect. Although birth was not as hard and horrible as I imagined, Dan and I were laughing and joking all through labor!! I am going to start here with my new life…..married, with Ian at 2 months!!!

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prior to Ian’s birth, everyone kept telling me the same thing: the first few months are hard. And, they were right. Hard might even be an understatement. Those first months suck… bad. It was hard to get use to the lack of sleep. It was hard to try and comfort a screaming baby, when I had no clue why he was screaming. It was hard to adjust to the fact that I was no longer the first priority. It was hard to transition from being a selfish person… to a selfless parent. It was hard to get up each morning and go to work… only to come home and keep working until I was finally able to fall crawl into bed. Hard? Yes.

Rewarding? Completely. After conquering those first few months, I look back and would do it all over again in a heartbeat (just not anytime soon , okay?). Why? It’s not because I’ve somehow just suddenly forgotten how rough it actually was. Trust me, I will never forget. It’s because I now get to reap the rewards of those difficult months every single day. From waking up a sleeping baby, who starts my day with the sweetest smile… to picking up an excited boy from daycare, who seems so thankful that I’m there to get him. Ian gives me a greater purpose in life and, for that, I am so thankful.

Trust me – I’m not one to give motherly advice. I’m surprised that Ian actually survived the first months, especially considering all of the mistakes I made (and sadly, continue to make). BUT, I do know one thing that I feel certain I should share with those new (and soon-to-be new) moms out there: Those first few months suck. BUT, despite how challenging and difficult they are, I promise you it will all be completely, perfectly, and wonderfully worth every second. Hang in there – it only gets better each day!

And, if I was able to survive it, then trust me – anyone can!

When you can do almost anything one handed; including typing and preparing meals!

When your husband says to you “honey you have spit up all over your shirt” and you say nonchalantly “I know” and have known it was there for hours and didn’t care and/or have the time to change.

When you have serious conversations about poop.

When shaving has become a luxury. Hey you barely have time to shower let alone actually shave while your in there!

When you don’t want strangers to even look at your new baby for fears that just them breathing in his direction will cause him to catch something.

When your 19 students ”We’ll be her mommy and you can be his big sister” and for a moment it sounds like a good idea.

When you leave your new baby even if its just for an hour or 2 with daddy and you feel incredibly guilty. Because you know…he’s so little he needs his mommy!

When the slightest grunt, fart, or wiggle wakes you up.

When you finally feel like you have purpose.

and lastly

When you experience love like you never knew existed before; each time you look into his eyes…or see him smile…or waiting for the first time he tells you he loves you…and when you can’t imagine life or anything like it without your child. That’s when you know your a mom.

Like most older siblings, I could be cruel. When we got to high school we were totally opposites. I was the preppy athlete, she was the sloppy skater wanna be. We Clashed!! I would ignore her in the hallways all the time, she would yell, “Hey SIS!”, I hated her. I wish she would just go away and never come back again. I was so embarrassed by her. Maybe I was this way because she always looked up to me, and I liked that. My own sister made me feel so special and popular. What I realize now is that we had to become our own people, and grow apart to again grew back together.

Anyway, the day I left for college she rode in my car with me, and we followed my parents. I had no idea what I was going to talk to her about for 2 and half hours. I hated her. She hated me. But something crazy happened in that car ride. I don’t quite remember what or how it started, but we just started talking, and singing and laughing. God works in mysterious ways! As we arrived on campus she said, “I hope your ready for this!”, and I replied, “Bring it on!”….we unpacked and then went to eat. Most awkward meal of my life. My dad was crying, my mom was quite and not really eating, my sister and I just staring at each other, knowing we were both thinking just say something! The meal ended and I was left alone. I started praying for all the obvious things a 18 year old would pray for in a new place knowing no one. A few hour later the phone rang….my sister. I was so relived! From that day on we talked everyday, sometimes 3 times. Again we needed space to grow apart, to grow together!

She is my best friend. She has always been there for me even when I treated her like my greatest nemesis.  Unlike my sister, I have a stubborn grip on optimism and the belief that, if you are nice to people, they will treat you in kind. My sister is more of a realist and, as a result, tends to get hurt a lot less than me. This brings me to the only reason I am dreading our visit.  The reasons I am going there run deep, and I will remain them to her privacy. But our conversations will run deep, and I may get frustrated and hurt. I ask god for the strength to see her side, and understand what she has been going through for the past 8 years, and in turn give her the strength and enlightenment that she needs, and is seeking from me.

So, as much as I want and need to spend time with my sister and let her be with someone who loves her unconditionally and makes her laugh like nobody’s business, I am afraid.  I  want so badly to tell her how I have been feeling because I know that she, more than anyone else in this world, wants me to guide her.  At the same time,  however, I know my sister will not sugar coat the situation and any guidance I provide may get burnt in her burning fire.

Bottom Line goes without saying…..I have been graduated from college for 5 years now, and moved away from home for 5 years now. We were growing apart only by distance, and growing together by sisterhood, age, and wisdom. So let growing apart, let us grow together on this visit home. Love you sister!

I went to the beach this morning and I was cranky. What’s wrong with me? I should be happy. I just married the man that makes me smile everyday, I have agreat job, a beautiful new house. I was restless. I don’t play enough. I need to change that. When is the last time you really played? So I got up, walked to the water, got wet, then decided to build a drippy droopy sand castle. I dug a moat and built a bridge. I’d forgotten that when you dig in the sand, deep enough, you hit a layer of shellso rock before you hit water. I loved relearning that. I was building a sand castle by myself, for no reason at all. For play. Who does that? I did.

A fifth grade girl named Margaret joined me to help. “Wow, fifth grade. When I was in fifth, we were learning cursive.”
“Golly, I learned that in like second grade.” She was chewing grape gum and offered me a piece. “Well, don’t feel bad, times are different now.” We talked about her school and how she just got her ears pierced. “Not at Claire’s. Their biggest selling accessory is infection.” I began to blink. Was I hearing things? “That’s what my mom says.” She then told me her mother’s cancer was in remission and how her friend Debbie is getting a second hole in her ear. “But she’s allowed because she is handicapped.”

Our conversation reminded me of how much I have to be thankful for. I was also glad, for the first time in my life, that I had short weakass nails… all the better to play in the sand with. A moat is a good time. Go play.

Here’s what’s harder to say:

Keep a diary. And when you write in it, try not to dot your i’s with hearts or fat little circles. Try to write about something other than the opposite sex or the fights you have with friends. I wish I knew, when I was younger, to write about the good in my friendships and family, to document the loving moments. Write about your relationship with your cousins, with your grandfather, with your parents. I need to take this advise now, too.

Nobody cares if you bite your nails. No guy is going to notice what shoes you’re wearing, and if he does, he’s the wrong guy.

You actually look beautiful, and can leave the house, without makeup.

Learn how to keep track of your spending and realize no amount of shopping will give you real self-esteem. Even the have-to-have handbag or shoes. But, it’s okay to like nice things. Don’t be too hard on yourself for buying into consumerism. There are worse things.

Be kinder. Try to treat people as if it’s your last interaction, but at the same time, care less, a lot less, about what other people think. Read that again. Stop caring what other people think. How? Understand that this is your life, not theirs, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself if things don’t work out the way you’d hoped. At a certain point, you have to stop pointing fingers behind you toward your childhood. You cannot be walking around worried about what people will think of you. At the end of the day, all that really matters is what YOU think of you. Even if people say great things. Horrible things. Their opinion shouldn’t matter more than your own.

Don’t worry about appearing braggy, judgemental or narcissistic. It’s called having self-esteem, valuing yourself enough to think people might care about what you have to say. Don’t be ashamed about anything because all our embarrassments are part of the human condition.

Don’t play music on your outgoing answering machine message. I know you think it sounds good and everyone else does it. Don’t do that. Floss once a day!

Rich relationships are a product of who you are, not where you are. You’ll make friendships anywhere you go, so stop worrying about the right places, schools, cities, apartment complexes, neighborhoods.

Whatever decision you’re worried about, right now, whether you should do this or that, however important it feels to you, just stop. Look Up, Remember, when you’re feeling like shit, to just step away from it, for fifteen minutes and just try, TRY, to enjoy the view. Yeah, the stars shine bright deep in the sunset skies of Georgia, but I’ve preached this before. Now that I’m in, what I consider to be, the ‘city, I never think, “I wish I were living in the ‘burbs.” But when I lived in Lake Placid, I always wished for stars, stairs, and a view. So look up wherever you are and realize a world goes on outside your dramas. Really, all of it will pass, will be worked out.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. I’m not saying to discount the consequences of your actions, but try to worry less about choosing wrong. We weigh ourselves down in it. Second-guessing ourselves. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes because, really, you learn so much when you risk. So really, it’s never a mistake. Unless it involves wearing the color orange or anything to do with a hat. These are usually mistakes best to avoid.

Ditch negative people. Don’t keep them around because you feel guilty. Hold onto your strong female friends, even if you’ve had a pissy fight. They’re really important.

I wouldn’t tell my younger self to listen more, or to be compassionate as well as passionate. I think I knew those things then. Yeah, yeah, live in the moment, in the now. I already knew that. Heard and knew the words. That’s not something I needed to hear, and it’s still not. I would have liked to have known that the truly big moments aren’t as important as the smaller quiet ones. The sidelines matter more. When traveling, I’m never impressed by the main attraction; I remember, more, the smaller moments, the little girl, when I was in Madrid, dressed in “her Sundays.” She saw me watching her walk by as I sat on a bench. She kept turning to look at me. I remember those moments most. “Keep paying attention to the smaller things,” I would say. “That’s where the good stuff is.”

Don’t be so damn hard on yourself. Yeah, you screwed up. You’re not perfect, fine. Learn from it. But don’t punish yourself. Be kind to you, even when you screw up. You’ll bounce back eventually. You’ll make up for it.

You are not fat. You are within a healthy weight range. As long as your doctor isn’t talking to you about health risks, you are not fat. Even if your fat pants no longer fit. Try, as hard as it is, to realize how good you look now. Here’s what I’ve learned. When I’m a size four, I’m usually miserable and anxious. Then, at a size ten, I’m happy in my life (miserable that I cannot fit into my wardrobe, but actually happy in my life), but as happy as I am, I long to be the miserable size four again. It’s lame-ass behavior. Stop worrying about it. Your weight issues aren’t going away, so just deal and learn to love yourself at whateverthehell size you are. Just deal.

The man should love the woman just a smidge more. Many wise woman I know have told me this. I wish someone had said it to me once upon a time. I would have listened. Life is too short to learn everything the hard way. At some point, it helps to listen. Yes, you have to experience some things for yourself, but the things I’m saying here, and especially if I had a “back to the future moment,” and it was coming from ME, I absolutely would have listened and reacted… at least while it was top of mind. I hope to look back on this one day and just add to it. I hope to keep this list top of mind, too. Especially the bit about writing about the good. As for the man loving the woman more bit, I’ve been in relationships where I just *knew* I loved him more… and in relationships where I totally just *knew* he loved me a little more… I still loved him completely, but knew, I guess, that he adored me and would never do anything to screw things up.

Don’t cling to what you know. Holy shit. This would have saved me some therapy. Push your boundaries, explore; don’t rely on the familiar. Move. Make new friends. Go out alone, and don’t be afraid of what others think about it. No one else is just like you, and you, just as you are, are important. I wish I knew and believed that then. Much more important that sunblock. Okay, just as important, anyway.

Compliment people. When people receive a compliment studies have shown that their blood pressure is actually lowered. People are immediately set at ease.

Accept compliments graciously. Don’t pull the old, “oh stop,” or “ew, no I don’t.” Don’t roll your eyes. Take it in, and really accept it. Shake your head and respond with a heartfelt, “thank you.”

Get a pet. You live longer and happier when you can care for it properly. When you’re older, you tend to live longer if you have a pet. It’s an activity; something is relying on you. You matter, even when the kids are too busy. They also lower your blood pressure.

When you feel blue, have a “self-esteem” music mix at the ready to lift your mood. Then force yourself to take a walk, wear the anxiety tired.

Eat three meals a day. Try not to snack. I don’t care what you’ve heard about grazing and blood sugar. You know you and the way you can’t stop once you start. Stick to three shots.